


Goddamn it Dave!

by WhyArentIBlessd



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Dave hits on John too much, M/M, Pick Up Lines, Truly fantastic college banter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-24
Updated: 2015-08-24
Packaged: 2018-04-16 23:38:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4644354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhyArentIBlessd/pseuds/WhyArentIBlessd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kinda morning banter before John heads off to a University exam.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Goddamn it Dave!

**Author's Note:**

> This is This isn't a multi-chapter fic. just random banter before class~

“Morning, Dave,” John grumbled, crossing the room at the sight of Dave’s torso over the top of the couch in their dorm room. He passed him, moving down the hallway, but he leaned back into the main room with a scowl firmly in place; what was that he’d seen? “Where the hell are your pants?”

Turning slightly from the counter and the coffee brewing in the pot, Dave smirked at him, red eyes bare until he’d get dressed. “Didn’t you know? I sleep without them on. But, since you’re just gonna flaunt your privilege, why not just give me yours and make it even? I’d love to get into your pants,”

John stared flatly at Dave, surprised eyebrows dropping into a deadpan frown. “It’s eight in the morning, and you’re already after my ass. Jesus Christ, Dave.”

“I ain’t the Messiah,” Dave shrugged, looking a little hurt as he fished a mug from the cupboard. “but I’ll be your Lord. I’m into that."

“No.” John threw up his hands, shaking his head, and he proceeded toward the front door. “Nuh-uh. No.” He bent for his shoes, slipping them on as he gave his roommate a good view of his backside, and then he pushed out the door, muttering something about when classes ended.

Smirking a little, Dave poked into his room and rescued a fairly ironic shirt from the closet as John’s footsteps returned. His smirk only grew as he met John at there front door, the wadded shirt outstretched, and he chuckled lightly at John’s red face. “Forget something?”

“Oh, suck my dick.” John said shortly, swiping the shirt from his hand and frowning at it. 

“Gladly, all you had to do was ask.” Dave chimed back, his usual lazy drawl a bit more eager. John ignored the slight shift in his expression.

“Dave, this isn’t my shirt.”

Dave’s enthusiasm fell, but he kept himself in check. “John,” He said certainly, “d’you really have time to get your own? When does that exam start?”

Snorting and pulling an arm through a sleeve, John muttered a sour ‘I hate you’ before his head popped up through the neck, and he staggered back out the door again the way he’d come.

~~~

“So~” Slipping into the seat beside him, Jade looked windblown and red-cheeked, but he knew the sparkle in her eye wasn’t her general mischief.

“Can I help you?” John asked back, raising an eyebrow at the grin peeling across her face. “You can’t bribe me to do an exam for you. Pretty sure that’s illegal.”

“No, no,” Jade shook her head, waving her hand in front of her quickly like it was a ludicrous idea. “John, I think I can do this by myself. Oh ye of little faith,”

“Then what’s with the look?”

“Who’s the boyfriend?”

John jumped a little, spluttering, and he gave Jade a look that was half shock and half anger, gritting his teeth ever so slightly, and he said: "What the hell is that supposed to mean, jade? i’m not gay, we’ve been over this.”

Jade’s grin stretched cheshire wide. “Then what’s with the t-shirt?”

Glancing down at himself, John was puzzled until he caught sight of the shirt he was wearing, a pale blue tee with black writing scrawled across it. He read it and flinched as the ‘You don’t know this, but I’m wearing my boyfriend’s shirt’ finally sank in.

“Goddamn it, Dave.” John sighed, resting his head against one hand.

“So Dave’s your boyfriend?” Jade squealed, clapping her hands. “That’s great!”

“No!” John held up a hand, begging for relief, and sighed. “Jade, he let me borrow a shirt. We’re not dating. We’re just roomies. No homo.”

“Whatever you say"


End file.
